My Mom IS Hitler

So, I have had one big epiphany recently...and that is...my mom IS Hitler. I feel like all my life has been a big fat lie since I have had this epiphany.

Where do I start? Ever since I was a wee little child, my mom has managed to feed me full of stories about what a terrible husband my dad is. He cheated on my mom and he was an immature jerk. It didn't help that my dad is indeed a douchebag and my mom managed to capitalize on that to make both my sister and I hate him.

My mom always told me, had it NOT been my dad, she would have had this fabulous career in the tax consultant world. She would have made partner in one of the many "Big 5" firms. However, my DAD was the root of all her failures. My dad made it so she couldn't meet with clients after hours. My dad made scenes at her work place. My dad was controlling. Therefore, my mom's career failed time and time again.

Like I said, it didn't help that my dad is a complete douchebag himself. He is a brainless neandertal. He only knew how to express himself through anger and rage. So, it was easy for me to believe every word my mom told me. Besides, I always thought my mom and I were close. I was always able to talk to her. She was my best friend.

From the perspective of a child, my mom seemed to have the most fabulous life. She worked as an executive at top tax firms, she traveled to fabulous places like Tokyo, San Francisco, Houston for business meetings. She always brought back cool gifts from all these places. But her fabulous life always seemed to be ruined by my dad. I always felt bad for my mom. I always took her side. I loved my mom. My mom was perfect! She was what I strive to be like when I grow up. I have always told her that I want to be an executive like her and travel the world. I wanted to be like her. She was my role model, my hero, my best friend.

My mom has manipulated me since I was a child. She manipulated me and my sister like Hitler did to millions of Germans to kill Jews. My whole life has been a lie...until May 2009 when I cut them off.

My recent epiphany came because I decided to do some reconnecting with my family. Let me give you the back story. All my life, my mom has told me my dad was a horrible person. Since my dad was a horrible person, she always told me his entire family was horrible too. My dad comes from a huge family. I think he has 10-15 brothers and sisters. Each person having at least 2 kids. So I had A LOT of cousins. We moved to the US about 10 years ago. After we moved here, we pretty much cut off ALL of the family members on my dad's side.

All my life my mom has fed my head with stories such as: Your uncles and aunts would invite your dad to dinner so that HE can pay for the whole meal; or your uncles and and aunts only wants money from us, that's why they are tricking your dad into doing XYZ. So, I've always disliked my relatives on my dad's side. It was easy because they never really like us. Our family was always singled out at family gatherings and whatnot. So, it was easy to believe my mom. My cousins didn't particularly like me...my grandparents had too many grandkids and didn't show that they particularly liked me either.

We moved to the US because my parents went bankrupt and they had to move. They defaulted on their mortgage and owed a lot of money on their credit cards. From what I remember, they advanced all their credit cards in cash with US Dollars. I don't know how much it was, but I think we had $100k CASH in our luggage when we moved here. I was too young to really know, so this is just my speculation.

When we moved to the US, my mom's sister offered her house for us to live in. She'd tell me that my dad's family didn't give us a dime to help us out. So, it just made it that much easier for my mom to paint this picture about all my dad's side of the family. We did not keep in contact with too many of them...because according to my mom, every time we talked to them, they just wanted money from us. I supported my mom on this for many years! To hell with them if all they want is money. I never made the effort to keep in contact with any of them.

Funny thing is, somehow, we always stayed in contact with all of my mom's family. Don't get me wrong, she hated them too, but my mom's brother and her 2 sisters had money. Especially one of the sisters who is actually filthy rich (the one who let us live in her empty house). So, I've written off all my cousins and relatives on my dad's side for the last decade. I mean, completely written them off. I didn't care about them, didn't care to talk to them, didn't care to know them.

Recently, my mom has taken everything to the next level. Not only did she cut me off, she has also cut off her own family. Her own family finally called BS on her, so she did what she does best, cut people off. No doubt she's manipulated my poor sister and my idiot dad into thinking that the family is just after them. She's always been able to play victim very well. She's always the victim. She did it well too.

I decided to look up my cousins from my dad's side on Facebook. I want to see for myself whether they are really terrible or not. Hey, and turns out, they're not. They're normal. And I don't blame them to have disliked my parents. In fact, my cousins thought my dad died because my mom wouldn't let him talk to any of them. In the last decade, if we EVER called my dad's family, my mom was always the one who called. That's my mom's way of showing how she's the "good guy" cuz my dad was too pussy to talk to his own family.

I feel like such a fool. My mom has planned this strategically. She wanted to cut off all my dad's family...to have them around is to intrude in her grand scheme of whatever it is. She has successfully cut off her own family now, because god knows what she has up her sleeve. She is ALWAYS the victim. She, the almighty, all holy mother, can do no wrong.

I hate her. I hate my dad, but I hate her. I know, it sounds bad. But I hate her. I hate that she has made my life into a complete lie. I hate that she has caused me to have no extended family. I hate that she has manipulated me all these years (and now my poor sister) into thinking that she is a saint. I hate her. I truly hate her. I don't know if anyone can really ever hate their own parents, but I hate my mom. She is the spawn of Satan and my dad is the idiot who follows her because he is also the spawn of Satan...only difference is, Satan didn't give him a brain. My mom is smart and calculated. She painted the perfect victim picture. Everyone always felt sorry for her. Not me. And I'm not going to let bygones by bygones either. She does not get to control my life for 20+ years and lie to me all those years and expect me to let it go down the road.

She scares me to be honest. She scares me because of how good of a victim she plays. She scares me because she is good at lying and playing victim. She scares me. Miller has been telling me this for years, but I couldn't fault my mom! I mean, I just couldn't! It wasn't until May 2009 that I finally woke up from the trance my mom placed me under.

I guess I should have realized it sooner...I mean, think about it...it was always in front of me to see, but I was to stupid. She made it so she and my dad did not spend my FIRST birthday with me. She constantly asked me as a child whether she should divorce my dad. She always blamed my dad for her failures. it's never her! It's always somebody else. She couldn't spend my first birthday with me because my dad made her send me to the US to spend it with my grandparents. She couldn't divorce my dad because I told her no.

It was ALWAYS my mom who was behind it all. She is the mastermind. I don't know what she is out to accomplish, but she has now manipulated someone to let her run for Mayor of Shitty City. I hate her and I don't know who out there can really understand this.

-Emma